Don’t let rejection stops you from achieving your goals
“Being rejected isn’t really the end of the world, but when it happens to us, it feels like it is the end already. “
Have you ever felt profound loneliness, clinging to an illusory emotional situation or other relational difficulties, needing to isolate yourself, running away from what is hurting, feeling undeserving, giving but having difficulty receiving compliments and good things in general? For the majority of you the answer must be Yes and it is human. Whether it is a family member, a friend, a group or an employer, we are all rejected from time to time. Fortunately, it is possible to make this experience less painful. Here’s how:
Cast doubt on the rejection
We sometimes mistakenly believe we’ve been rejected. It is therefore useful to assess the situation before concluding that we have been rejected. There are, of course, obvious cases. But we must still be careful, because there are also misleading appearances. For example, if you are new to a group, the coldness of some people may simply be a form of uncertainty or caution in the face of an unfamiliar face, nothing more. It is so easy to misinterpret people’s behavior.
“Your value is not dependent on the acceptance of others.”
Immediately distract yourself when necessary
If rejection has hurt you deeply, use distraction to temporarily reduce your pain. Being busy captivates our attention and temporarily reduces frustration. Here are some suggestions for distraction activities:
- Read a captivating novel
- Watching an entertaining television program or movie
- Playing a game that requires a lot of attention, for example, a fast video game.
- Playing an intense and/or group sport, for example, football
- Attend a show or go to the movies
See or visit friends
We sometimes perceive rejection as if we are useless human being. But generally, our friends accept us unconditionally. So spending time with our close friends is a good way to combat the feeling of rejection.
Don’t be offended easily
To minimize rejection, try not to take other people’s opinions personally, as your value does not depend on anybody’s approvals. I know, it’s not easy to put into practice; but it’s something we should all strive to do. Understand that the reasons for rejection can be so subjective, for example:
The offensive words of an angry person may not be directed at you specifically. That is, if another person had been in your shoes in front of the person in question, they might have been the one who would have been insulted and rejected rather than you.
Some people who are sick, discouraged or exhausted rejects everyone. Again, if another person had been in your shoes, they might have been rejected rather than you.
The opinion of the person who rejected you may be completely wrong because it is based on incomplete knowledge of who you are. If they had had the chance to get to know you better, the person who rejected you might not have done so.
Changing your interpretation of rejection
Our interpretation of a certain situation determines how we feel about it. When we experience rejection, we sometimes conclude that it is the only cause of our frustration. If 1,000 people experienced the same rejection, would they all react the same way? Of course not. The majority would have negative feelings. But these feelings would be varied. Confronted with the same refusal, some would be angry, some would be disappointed, and thirdly, some would experience only a small amount of frustration that would be quickly forgotten. So we react differently to the same situations. When we experience a significant rejection, it is not the only cause of our reaction. There is an intermediary: our thoughts about what happens. And these are all-powerful in changing our feelings. That is to say, by changing our thoughts, we change our feelings about the rejection.
For example, you invite someone you are very attracted to on a romantic date and you are rejected outright. You are deeply upset because you feel that this person is the right person for you. Of course, this is an assumption. Even if you like this person very much, you don’t know if he or she is compatible with you, since you don’t really know him or her. Who knows, they may have done you a favour by refusing your offer. By considering that there are different ways to interpret this refusal, it is possible to lessen its impact on you.
“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better.”
Since it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, everyone is rejected at times. So inevitably, one day someone will dislike your ideas, find one of your comments silly or even make fun of you. That’s life. Popular people get rejected from time to time too. It is comforting to remember that we are not the only ones who suffer rejection.
Protect yourself by building self-esteem
People with good self-esteem are not necessarily less rejected, but they suffer less when they are. In addition, one of the most rewarding moments in our lives is when we find the courage to let go of the things that we can’t change, such as rejection of someone.
Protect Yourself With a Busy Life
People who have an active and busy life are better able to overcome rejection because they are interested in different things. Therefore, there is less reason for them to feel empty or abandoned as a result of this type of rejections. So as much as possible, be active in different ways. That way you don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Seek Professional Help
If you experience repeated rejection and especially if you also suffer from anxiety or depression, you may not have the ability to deal with this situation on your own. Consequently, the services of a psychologist or psychiatrist may be helpful. Do not hesitate to consult them if you feel the need.
It is unfortunately normal to be rejected from time to time. Like everyone else, you have already been rejected and you have had the strength to overcome this situation. Know that you will overcome your next rejection, just as you did before. This does not take away the difficulty associated with this frustration. But it is still comforting to remember that the bitterness of rejection will disappear in time, as it did before.
“The more passion you fill your life with, the less time and energy you will waste looking for everyone’s approval.”